2017-you-heartbreaker-you-1

2017 you heartbreaker you. i unraveled in you and everything i once knew to be true became a question as the storms just kept coming though. i can’t even muster the will to pretend i know what 2018 will bring, but i do know that i will be prioritizing body and heart healing (no matter what that means i may lose). it seems it’s the holding on that is hurting most, the grasping for what used to be and who i imagined myself to be (knuckles white). i feel so finally done (my hands are tired and hurting, chest aching, spirit shaken). i am finally dissolving as i have so resisted doing (identity is a hard one to dis-identify from). still functional don’t get me wrong, i got a lot done this year, but it matters less than it ever has, because tears, so very many tears (so much water coming out of me, no wonder i am thirsty, always). so 2018 i am ready for you to take me. i have little to no idea who i want to be, what i want to do, where i want to be or with whom. i do know who i love and what matters most to me (the ones i call family, sincerity true, and committed contributing. oh and creating, yes that too matters to me). i will see this through as i always do. falling feels a lot like flying (i am finding), not sure which one i am doing in the moment, but trusting more (and more) that this is exactly where i am supposed to be, in the breakdown, may we all break through… happy new year my friends, happy year ending and beginning to you…

p.s. sometimes i get self conscious about my writing, especially how dramatic it may seem. i considered writing a very different post for 2017, celebrating the wins, listing off the cool things i did, sharing my hopes and dreams, but what is most honest for me is the above. this year was incredibly hard and frankly i really wish i could say differently. i know i will take all the muck and make something beautiful (it’s what I do, it’s what i am forever committed to). and it also feels it’s important acknowledge that i made some poor choices, dare I say mistakes (especially when it comes to having care for me). i saw things in myself i really don’t like, and by what feels like a miracle found moments of such exquisite self love and grace, i now know i will be okay (genuinely okay) always. i play hard and so the wins can be quite intoxicating and the losses quite devastating. maybe i will find a middle ground, maybe not, maybe this is who i am, a creature of extremes…


p.p.s. i wrote this sitting in the passenger seat (where i prefer to be in cars and in the bedroom) and the view out my window is most breathtaking. in this moment (as I finish this 2017 reflection) life feels good and right and true. it’s been a practice in extending faith (and trusting). the love, the love always comes through…

❤ Emily Joy Rosen

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Emily Rosen is the co-owner and CEO of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating where she oversees business development strategies, student affairs, marketing and public relations, and keeps a pulse on the fields of eating psychology and nutrition to ensure the Institute’s position as a leader worldwide. Emily makes things happen. Her passion for health and transformation has provided her the opportunity to speak and present internationally and be at the forefront of a new generation of women leaders committed to making a heartfelt difference in the world. Her tireless work and faithful commitment have touched the lives of millions of fans and followers worldwide.