dont-bend

Sometimes, with all the noise
it’s hard to hear your own knowing

Everyone has an opinion

And for reasonable reasons
we are influenced by the opinions of others
because at the most fundamental level
we tend to want to be liked,
we want to be accepted

It actually touches on a survival need
Being rejected from the tribe
would have left us at literal risk eons ago
and so we learn pretty early on
how to be
such that we are included
so we are not left alone

The challenge is
that often means changing
who we are
or at the very least
how we show up with others

We watch for cues
and begin to mimic
what appear to be acceptable behaviors
early on

We learn quickly
the world is full of rules,
spoken and not
and generally determine
it’s best to play by them
There is simply less pain that way
and we humans are hardwired
to seek pleasure and avoid pain

It is fascinating
to watch young children
question
what so many of us take for granted
as a given

The impulse to question authority
or want to know why
we are being asked to do something
seems inherent
but we get tired of being shut down
or scared of repercussions

And so we learn to edit
We learn to alter who we are
And the parts of us that aren’t embraced
we do our best to erase

And it seems the world often focuses
on our weaknesses
not our strengths

In school
we often get extra support
for the subjects we are poor at
instead of someone noticing
where we have a natural aptitude
and focusing more on our strengths
Our obsessions are not celebrated
rather we are often redirected
to fit in more with the pack

The emphasis on “well roundedness”
has us treading water in mediocrity
instead of being emboldened
and encouraged for our originality
and innate impulses

And then
we wonder
why we don’t know who we are
why we don’t know what we love to do
why we feel lonely
even when in connection with others

We bend
and yes sometimes break
we water ourselves down
we do our best to make sense of it all
and we censor our soul

Our glorification of logic
has us stuck in our head
trying to understand
what may just need to be felt
and we disconnect from ourselves

I think one of the best places to find yourself again
is in your obsessions
What are you drawn to when alone?
When do you feel most focused
and alive?

When we ask,
“what lights me up”
instead of
“who am I”
it tends to be a more manageable
place to start

We can get to know ourselves again
through our joy

Be merciless
in pursuit of what matters to you

Be willing to be disliked
disapproved of
and misunderstood
to live in a way that is true for you

Because I am pretty sure
the world needs more happy people
than it does obedient ones

And while you may have been told differently
the only way you are ever
not going to feel some version of lonely
is if you are you

So yes, please,
Don’t bend
Don’t water it down
Don’t try and make everything logical

And most importantly…
Don’t edit your own soul

Get obsessed
with being the very best version
of you

❤ Emily Joy Rosen

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Emily Rosen is the co-owner and CEO of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating where she oversees business development strategies, student affairs, marketing and public relations, and keeps a pulse on the fields of eating psychology and nutrition to ensure the Institute’s position as a leader worldwide. Emily makes things happen. Her passion for health and transformation has provided her the opportunity to speak and present internationally and be at the forefront of a new generation of women leaders committed to making a heartfelt difference in the world. Her tireless work and faithful commitment have touched the lives of millions of fans and followers worldwide.