on-my-birthday

For my birthday I thought I would write about some of what is up for me right now in my life.
And then I didn’t know where to start, so I thought I would start with my name, Emily Rosen...

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be-gentle-with-you

I lost one of my closest friends this year - no she didn’t die.
I lost her friendship. This was someone I thought would be my friend forever.
I didn’t see it coming.

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the-world-needs-all-of-you

I recently did a private intensive...
At the end of it we did a ritual
The ritual was to write something on a coconut that was holding me back that I wanted to let go of, and then smash the coconut

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really-feel-it

I used to be terrified of traveling.

Aside from my fear of flying I was absolutely petrified of new places, new people and things feeling outside of my control.

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emerged-bg

I have lived with anxiety for over a decade
I didn’t even know I was anxious,
I assumed the racing of my heart,
haunting thoughts,
clenched jaw ...

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magic

So I posted a picture of me
with a baby

And I got lots of sweet comments and private messages of baby birthing encouragement and then I became overwhelmed with emotion

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i-have-been-missing-you

I must confess
I have been missing you
I have found myself on one to many a night flickering through your stories of promise
I have danced on your memory...

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i-posted-a-selfie-bg

So you might want to defriend me
or unfollow me


Because...

Wednesday I posted a Selfie

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window-of-what-i-can-get-away-with

my window of what i can get away with has gotten smaller and smaller
at times paralyzingly so
the choices that let me sleep at night have gotten harder and harder, nearly impossible not to make

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i-promise

I remember falling for you
Each time you came close I hid my heart a little more till I lost myself in your knowing
I remember asking time and time again if this was “right”

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favorite-things-about-traveling

One of my favorite things about traveling and getting away from my day to day is that I have time to reflect and really see and feel myself. I am tender and tired today while acutely aware of how fortunate I am.

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see-what-comes-of-it-all

So here is what happened...
I posted a picture of myself enjoying an ice cream sundae sharing about how thrilled I was to heal my eating disorder and be able to enjoy food fully now

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bon-appetit

Reflection on dinner last night
I ate
I really ate and I enjoyed every bite
Just a few years ago going out to eat at a fancy restaurant of this nature would have sent me into a tail spin

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business-is-deeply-personal

I didn’t listen to my gut
And I made made a business decision from a disempowered place
I was trying to prove something
And I was trying to assure of something I have no control over

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i-am-committed-to-remembering

I am fascinated with stories of human resiliency.

As someone who has struggled with faith and understanding what that means to me.

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thinking-a-lot-about-shame

I have been thinking a lot about Shame (with a capital S)

How things I was once mortified to share - now roll off my tongue with pride

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be-gentle-bg

I was the kind of girl who failed to remember
Little circles colored thick with silver dust...
Reminds me always of my inadequacies

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i-remembered-magic-bg

I could think of nothing worse than being seen as self-involved
I was so committed to my persona
I got lost in my own made up world and became the person I had attempted so fervently to reject.

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hundreds-of-pounds

I have gained and lost hundreds of pounds, literally, up and down for years.
I avoided cameras for much of this time and lived is constant body hatred.

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have-compassion-bg

One does not have to have an intense eating disorder to struggle with food and body.
I know many women who live in a silent prison around food though from the outside it looks like...

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into-the-light

I have been dancing for days in golden bubbles of comfort that numb me softly to sleep
I wonder what you say to me when I am so far away
I tell you stories as I drift off...

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i-will-wait-forever

I remember waiting…folding unfolding…sneaking peaks at stillness…
I replay it over and over again…wondering where I lost you and so sorry if I ever hurt you

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find-the-light-bg

You are a darkness dancer she said pointing her tiny finger at me
I felt myself shrink in her knowing
And I started to scramble for words
Words of promise to offer her
Shaking in her assumed accusation

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i-disappeared

I arrived home around 3am last night.
It was a long few days of travel and I felt myself unraveling on the last flight. When I board a plane I always feel a mixture of fear and relief.

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Emily Rosen is the co-owner and CEO of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating where she oversees business development strategies, student affairs, marketing and public relations, and keeps a pulse on the fields of eating psychology and nutrition to ensure the Institute’s position as a leader worldwide. Emily makes things happen. Her passion for health and transformation has provided her the opportunity to speak and present internationally and be at the forefront of a new generation of women leaders committed to making a heartfelt difference in the world. Her tireless work and faithful commitment have touched the lives of millions of fans and followers worldwide.