EmilyJoyRosen

nope,
i will not.
no thank you.
we live in a world
with so many
people telling us

my mama used to
wake me by singing
"you are my sunshine,
my only sunshine,
you make me happy
when skies are gray..."

i often find
myself wishing
for more consistency
i somehow seem
to associate that
with my favorite thing:

pretty much
exactly why
i do most
everything i do.
for her,
for you

as far as I can tell
(and have experienced),
confidence doesn’t come
from knowing
you will be right
(or the best)

a forever needed
reminder (for me).
perfectionism is always
waiting in the wings,
ready to seduce
me with its

sometimes
(often times) it's
the holding (on)
that hurts
the most
i have learned

oh this, yes.
the fear of suffering
is worse than
the suffering itself.
i remember reading
this in "the alchemist"

time and i have
an ever-changing relationship.
as a little girl
i was not so much
interested in time
it didn’t feel like

because happy here.
because today was hard.
because all the things,
but mostly because
i saw something
about myself

please this.
we do not
know what wars
are going on
down where the
spirit meets the bone

why do you stay?
because i love him.
but he's breaking
your heart.
i know.
so why do you stay?

sensitivity is a gift
(not a curse)
and while at times
it might mean
you feel pain
(and more of it)

i am allergic
to dogs
(dogs still seem
to like me).
i am afraid
of boys

a much needed reminder.
most nights as
I go to bed
I hold my heart.
i have been doing
that for years now

oh mirror
how i have
fought with you.
i was dysmorphic
for over
a decade

hey you.
yes, you.
this has been
quite the ride,
hasn't it.
i find myself

And sometimes
I let the wheels
come
off as I'm flying
down an open road
with images of a future

happiness came
looking for me,
piercing through
the grayness
i felt so
consumed

Imagine this...
You like a person
a lot
you know, in that
consuming
more than just a crush

A friend recently asked me
"If it was 3 years in the future
would you be happy with the choices
that this (previous) Emily made"
I know it is a good question for me
when I hate the question

sunlight and sincere
apologies.
love making and
deep sleep.
complete silence and
music blasting

I feel scared
almost always
And no
I was not born
this way
I don't remember

I have been
unfurling lately
The things
I once thought
for sure to be true
have become

One of my greatest weaknesses
as a CEO
has been relational leadership.
Truly, ask anyone
who worked for me
in the early days

I binged
for the first time in forever
Yet it was nothing like
the violent binges
from before
I ate an early dinner

We have all been hurt
by someone we love
We have all hurt
someone we love
Perhaps
unintentionally

I needed nothing
to get to me
It felt vital that I stay
with the cool calm breeze
blowing through
my scorched reality

"You keep leaving you"
he said
“Well, I don’t know what to do,
I don’t know what to do”
I said
touching irritation

The other day
I was at dinner
with the boys
and one of them said
“Why with these spiritual chicks
does it it always have to be