instead-of-asking-why

We all experience living loss

Losing someone still alive
tends to ache differently
than death
It is a unique form of excruciating
that can feel as intense
and permanent
But yet you know
they know
the door, even if closed
always remains
And that is just different
than death
and so
can consume us
uniquely

People we love will leave
over and over and over again

And while I do think it is important
to look at why,
to learn from what has transpired,
I also think it is key to not dwell there

I see so many people stuck
in trying to make sense of the past
instead of focusing on what they want
to create moving forward

I know this has been me
struggling endlessly with the questions
Why did you leave?
Why did this happen?
What about me created this?

But I am learning
as with most anything in life
it is a dance
A dance with
paradox

So, yes…
Take time
to reflect and feel
Take the time to look
at all the “whys”
Take the time to really feel
the hurt, the anger, the love

Let yourself care
and feel the impact, yes

One of the most dangerous things
I see us humans do
is act like
things that hurt us
don’t

We play it cool
or tough
We act distant
when what we really crave
is closeness
We make light of the hurt
so as not to seem weak
or worse, pathetic

So to be explicitly clear
I am not saying, don’t feel
It is okay to wallow and mourn
dare I say it’s necessary

But then make the choice
to focus on what’s next
What beauty will you create
in the space
they no longer occupy

There is such bravery
and grace
in letting go
and cultivating beauty
in a place once filled with suffering

Imagine a world where we all did that
where instead of closing down
shutting down
becoming jaded or bitter…
we kept opening
we kept choosing to fill our lives,
to fill our world with beauty
in all the places pain has lived

I am pretty sure
that would not only change you
but also the world

And that is a world
I want to live in
One where everything
even loss
can be used as building blocks
the raw materials
for the greatest work of art
you will ever make…

Your life

❤ Emily Joy Rosen

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Emily Rosen is the co-owner and CEO of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating where she oversees business development strategies, student affairs, marketing and public relations, and keeps a pulse on the fields of eating psychology and nutrition to ensure the Institute’s position as a leader worldwide. Emily makes things happen. Her passion for health and transformation has provided her the opportunity to speak and present internationally and be at the forefront of a new generation of women leaders committed to making a heartfelt difference in the world. Her tireless work and faithful commitment have touched the lives of millions of fans and followers worldwide.