i_filmed-23

i filmed twenty-two new poetry videos yesterday
with allergies and only four hours of sleep
jet-lag is a very real thing,
sneezing is so tiring,
sleep is officially necessary (since i hit thirty)
but/and despite these physical setbacks
i had the best time

luke (my film guy) and I have been working
together for over a year now,
it takes me a long while to get comfortable
with someone and find my flow here…
i don’t actually like being on camera,
despite the many hundreds of hours i spend in front of it
it has still not become pleasant for me

now behind a keyboard,
writing that is where i feel most me,
think more clearly, am most influence free…

but i am getting better at the video making thing
i have done over 400 videos at this point,
from eating psychology vlogs
to personal development teachings,
live streaming classes
and poetry readings

it’s been quite the extreme growth edge for me…
i couldn’t even watch myself on camera in the beginning
it was just too intense
with the remnants of my body dysmorphia haunting me
and my perfectionism on overdrive
it was plain torture
but much has changed for me here
i am not so obsessed with being perfect
and more and more accepting of my body
so while yes i still don’t always love what i see
i do like that i still choose to put myself out there

i am proud
that i don’t let fear
or even moments of self loathing
stop me
i refused to let anxiety, worry, and insecurity have the last word
or prevent me from doing my work in the world,
from executing what i believe is necessary to thrive
in an ever changing world that requires much flexibility
especially when it comes to the mediums
we use for communicating and connecting

and this time (yesterday)
i felt more like me filming (than ever before)
yes making these last twenty-two videos felt more true
so even though i felt a little sick, still a lot a bit sleepy
and my nose may be running in many of them
i am excited to share them with you…

❤ Emily Joy Rosen

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Emily Rosen is the co-owner and CEO of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating where she oversees business development strategies, student affairs, marketing and public relations, and keeps a pulse on the fields of eating psychology and nutrition to ensure the Institute’s position as a leader worldwide. Emily makes things happen. Her passion for health and transformation has provided her the opportunity to speak and present internationally and be at the forefront of a new generation of women leaders committed to making a heartfelt difference in the world. Her tireless work and faithful commitment have touched the lives of millions of fans and followers worldwide.