I have always fancied myself
the ultimate loner
the quintessential weirdo
just plain awkward
perpetually uncomfortable

I can come off
all sorts of things
that are not true for me

Home schooled most of my youth
I learned quickly when I got to high school
friendship was about fitting in
and doing things for people
so they valued me
and liked me

There is a security
in being useful
There is a safety
in being needed

I am not sure
when I got so scared
people would leave me
I am not able to trace
when the fear of abandonment
took home in me

I just know
it’s there
and that it often runs me


I have built a world
on how useful I can be

And while this is most definitely
a primary value of mine
I do love being useful

I have learned to be
more selective and discerning
about who I connect with
and how I choose
to connect with them
No longer leading with
what I can do for you
I have learned to build relationships
that while mutually beneficial
are definitely more true

This weekend I was with
many of my very dearest friends
up in Eden, Utah at Summit
with the Baby Bathwater crew
I was reflecting on how very different
this experience is for me
from so many of the events
I have attended rather compulsively

There is an air of generosity
that I find brings out the best
in everyone
and I am reminded
of the joy of giving
without needing to receive
and trusting that all will
work out
as is best
for everyone
in the end

I got to teach
this time
Once on operational efficiency
and scaling customer service
and again on Social Media
It felt really good
that what I have learned
over the last 7 years
of running an online business
and being in the trenches
was useful to others

It was a pure joy
to be able to speak freely
and share what has been
so helpful to me
without needing anyone
to then be friends with me
or give something back to me

Sure I wanted validation
I did want people to think I did good
and I did want to feel appreciated
but I wasn’t needy
I wasn’t trying to manipulate anything
to keep people in connection with me

And a big piece of this is
and how I have changed
and embraced myself more consistently
independent of others approving of me
But another piece
is the people
I choose to spend my time with
It is rare to find a community
where standards are upheld
and there is a such a commitment
to contribution
as I feel from most everyone
who attends this event regularly

Yes, we need to do work on self
to be more who we want to be
But also make sure you are
surrounding yourself
with people who get you
uplift you
and celebrate you
in all your idiosyncrasies
That makes it way easier
to be the very best
version of you too

My friend Sammy took this photo
when I wasn’t looking

Pretty much sums up
just how I was feeling
looking over this epic view
surrounded by so many I love
who actually love me too

Feels like a massive win
for me
that I actually have people
I would call my

❤ Emily Joy Rosen

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Emily Rosen is the co-owner and CEO of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating where she oversees business development strategies, student affairs, marketing and public relations, and keeps a pulse on the fields of eating psychology and nutrition to ensure the Institute’s position as a leader worldwide. Emily makes things happen. Her passion for health and transformation has provided her the opportunity to speak and present internationally and be at the forefront of a new generation of women leaders committed to making a heartfelt difference in the world. Her tireless work and faithful commitment have touched the lives of millions of fans and followers worldwide.