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Focusing on improving myself
instead of competing with others
has changed my life
in the most beautiful way

I used to be in constant comparison mode
looking at others with envy so intense
it prevented me from connecting
and seeing the good in me

These days, I just pay close attention
to when my mind wanders to comparison
and I swiftly redirect to focus instead
on what I want more of in my life

Generally, I find myself comparing and competing
when I am out of alignment in some way
when I feel dis-empowered in my own life
or when I’m resenting my responsibilities
and how they require me to spend my time

Recently, I noticed I was no longer feeling connected
to some of the work I’m responsible for at the Institute
Some of my efforts no longer felt like a match
for who I have become
and I could no longer stomach strategies
that once excited me

So I have been feeling fidgety
and started looking outside of me
to fix the unrest and uncertainty
that I didn’t know how to metabolize
And as I looked, I began comparing my life
to some of the other women I know
and I started to feel jealous
and just plain irritated

I went into lots of “it’s unfair”
which is genuinely the quickest way
to deflect personal responsibility
And I felt rather stuck in pity
But I know myself
and I know this part of me,
and that for me
this simply means
something is not working for me
and I need to figure out what it is
and shift immediately

I take the warning signals very seriously these days
because I know the cost
of living out of integrity

And in a matter of days
I had let it go
I was no longer cyber stalking
and feeling competitive
I was focused again
I was back to improving me
instead of feeling envious
of those around me

No, this is not to say that I think competition is bad
I think it is natural for us to compete
But there is a big difference between
a competition
that brings out the best in everyone
and one that tears other people down

If you “win” by undercutting others
I can promise you
you have won nothing at all
If you are spending all your time hating on other women
who you think don’t deserve what they have
I can assure you
you are walking down a long road
soaked in suffering

I think a lot of us fool ourselves into thinking that
comparing, complaining, and competing
are the same as taking action
And sure, they are in some way
But really, wouldn’t you rather focus on what you want
than being mad at someone else
for having what you want?

So here is what I’d like to offer:

Focus on blooming,
focus on becoming
all that you can be —
it’s a guaranteed more fulfilling way
to move through the world
and it’s actually something
you have the ability to choose

As much as you may want to
you cannot control what anyone else does
But you can choose what you do

Be the very brightest version of you
and let the chips fall where they may

When you focus on you
When you focus on your strengths
When you focus on blooming

You just might surprise
even you

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Emily Rosen is the co-owner and CEO of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating where she oversees business development strategies, student affairs, marketing and public relations, and keeps a pulse on the fields of eating psychology and nutrition to ensure the Institute’s position as a leader worldwide. Emily makes things happen. Her passion for health and transformation has provided her the opportunity to speak and present internationally and be at the forefront of a new generation of women leaders committed to making a heartfelt difference in the world. Her tireless work and faithful commitment have touched the lives of millions of fans and followers worldwide.