on-my-birthday

For my birthday I thought I would write about some of what is up for me right now in my life.
And then I didn’t know where to start, so I thought I would start with my name, Emily Rosen, and see what came up for me for each letter. A little silly, I know, but here goes…
E – Empathy – Being able to have true compassion for another, really get their world and feel them has been a powerful practice of healing for me. It also makes it way easier to forgive and let go. One of my favorite quotes is by Miller Williams, he says “Have compassion for everyone you meet, even if they don’t want it. What seems conceit, bad manners, or cynicism is always a sign of things no ears have heard, no eyes have seen. You do not know what wars are going on down there where the spirit meets the bone.” From what I can tell, this is true. And it’s something I remind myself of everyday.
M – Money – I was always terrified that I wouldn’t be able to financially support myself. It was a real and driving fear of mine. My parents told me they had the same concern and considered at some point making room for me to live over their garage so I at least had a place to stay. It was a running joke for years that my sister was going to have to support me. It was embarrassing but I used to laugh it off. I was the spacey and irresponsible artist and had created an identity around struggling with and for money. I worried about it everyday, felt like I was always fighting to make ends meet, and didn’t see a clear way out. This is the first year in my adult life that I have felt secure in this regard. I had a major shift here and it wasn’t by focusing on money. It was by getting clear on my mission and staying focused. I had to practice extreme discipline this year. It wasn’t always fun, but it was extremely rewarding in more ways than one. I made a practice of staying clear, present, and consistent. And wow do I live in a different world now.
I – Inspiration – I couldn’t do most of what I do if I didn’t feel inspired. I am truly inspired. Sometimes inspiration comes from within, sometimes from outside of us. I make it a practice to stay inspired. It is vital to my mental, emotional and physical health. There are a few ways I do this. Everyday, I make sure to read quotes by people way smarter than me. We have to use our brain! I also make time to read the comments, emails and messages from our students and tribe. I read every single comment on our The Institute for the Psychology of Eating Facebook page and often am the one responding. At least a few times a week I check in on all our private groups and read what people are sharing and experiencing. I read and respond to every comment on my personal Facebook pages. A lot of my expert friends do none of this, and think I am crazy for spending my time in this way, but for me it is vital. If I don’t feel connected I don’t feel inspired. I am so so grateful to the people who make time to comment and reach out. It means the world to me and keeps me going.
L – Love – It is everything.
Y – You – I really appreciate anyone taking the time to read this. I never considered myself a writer, but I do LOVE writing and it has been such a delight to write and share it with all of you. I have been so touched by the feedback and support. So, a big thank you, to you.
R – Regret – Wow, this has been a year of feeling a lot regret. On one hand I truly do not regret anything, I have learned a lot from every challenge I have faced and “mistake” I have made, but that is after some integration time. In the future I always appreciate the past, and I just want to acknowledge that I have felt some massive regret this year. I felt so ashamed that I felt regret, as if I was supposed to be able to extract the lesson immediately and move on but I didn’t, I couldn’t, and that is ok! I feel there is sometimes a message in the personal growth world that we shouldn’t feel regret, but in my experience I have not been able to release something until I have truly felt it. Painful sometimes, yes, but worth it always…
O – Own it, really I mean it, try it, own it. Whatever it is, own it. Make a stand for who you are, what you believe in, and what you want. The world needs more people willing to be real, raw and true. And all you have to do is be you.
E – Embodiment – I am slowly getting back into my body and wow does it feel good. A couple of months ago I started doing strength training. I had been avoiding training for the last bunch of years as it used to be a trigger for me to become compulsive around food and super body focused. Now I’m doing it from such a different place and so enjoying the act of pushing myself physically for the first time in a loving way. I can feel myself getting stronger. I have always been so resistant to having a physical form. I am just now beginning to accept that I have a body wink emoticon
S – Sorry – This last year has required me to own a lot of the places I went dark. I have been under a tremendous amount of stress and it hasn’t always brought out the best in me. I have had to say “I am sorry” more times than I care to admit. I also have seen the power in a sincere apology. I have seen the connection created when meeting in that place of full humility, and owning to another the places where you may have hurt them or wronged them. It is powerful medicine and well worth the effort, always. What is fascinating to me is that in all of this, until recently, I didn’t realize that I was not forgiving myself, at all. I was so disappointed in myself for certain choices I made, ways I acted, things I said or did, I didn’t even consider forgiving myself. I was apologizing left and right and each time hating on myself more and more for doing the things I had to apologize for. Just last week I saw this so clearly and I did something I have never done before. I said I am sorry to myself. Really, I did and I cried. Actually, I sobbed. If you haven’t done this, I highly recommend it. Make time to be with yourself, look in the mirror and apologize. If you are anything like me, you probably owe yourself an apology. We can be so harsh on ourselves, constantly criticizing, pushing, berating. It might be time to say I am sorry to you.
E – Eating – I still cannot believe I do not have an eating disorder. It was my world for 10+ years and I can honestly say, I do not struggle with food any more. It is a huge part of my mission to help others who struggle in this way finally break free. I get it so deeply, how painful and lonely and crazy it can feel. And I promise there is always a way out. I am so happy to be a part of helping people know this each and everyday. I cannot imagine a better way to use my life force.
N – No – I had to say No a lot this year. No to opportunities I would have died for a couple years ago. No to business deals that would have made us a lot of money, but just didn’t feel right. No to people I thought I would have in my life for ever, but who I felt violated by. No to trips, parties and vacations that would have taken me away from what I know I want to create. I had to be very self disciplined this year. It was hard – there were a few times I wanted to run and hide.
This has not be an easy year. I have experienced some of the lowest lows of my life. And I feel stronger, clearer, more loving, comfortable and confident than ever before.
I am learning what it means to be me.
I am learning who I want to be in the world.
I am committed to consciousness.
Grateful for each moment that has brought me to this one.
I used to think I would never live past 30.
But here I am, 33.
And I just want to thank you for celebrating this birthday with me!

❤ Emily Joy Rosen

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Emily Rosen is the co-owner and CEO of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating where she oversees business development strategies, student affairs, marketing and public relations, and keeps a pulse on the fields of eating psychology and nutrition to ensure the Institute’s position as a leader worldwide. Emily makes things happen. Her passion for health and transformation has provided her the opportunity to speak and present internationally and be at the forefront of a new generation of women leaders committed to making a heartfelt difference in the world. Her tireless work and faithful commitment have touched the lives of millions of fans and followers worldwide.