I can be overzealous here
As little girl I never thought of my wedding day
I wasn’t one to imagine my marriage or fantasize about what that would look like for me
I wanted a bosom friend
One of my favorite books growing up was Anne of Green Gables
I read all 7 books in the series more than once
In the book Anne has a best friend Diana
And they were bosom friends, the closest of chosen family
I always took bosom friends to mean we are of the same heart
And as such shall be connected forever
And will always protect each other
It meant safety to me and love that was untouchable
I really wanted such a friend, more than most anything
So I let a lot of girls in
Deep in
While others were on first dates imagining their special day
I was sharing secrets with girlfriends, as that was how I thought you built closeness
I wish I could say this turned out well
But quite the contrary
It nearly broke me
I had no business letting so many people so quickly in
It was coming from a rather desperate place
This pattern didn’t end till a year or so ago
There is a story of shatter that marks the period in this story
But I don’t have a need to go into it right now
Because I have noticed I have changed
My desire for friendship of the deepest kind nearly cost me myself
The stress of working so hard for love in all the wrong ways crushed me quite literally
There is an understood cultural pity for love of the romantic kind lost
But when it comes to a friendship ending, it seems we all feel a bit lost
I see it handled most commonly in 3 ways:
1. You shut down, you pretend none of it ever happened and move on
2. You find new friends who validate your experience and generally you reveal the “ex” friend’s flaws, weaknesses and secrets to prove your point
3. You look at you, really look at you…why does this keep happening to you, what is your part, why is it you do what you do, and what can you do differently
Now I have used all of these strategies
And I can tell you that none of these feel very good
In fact they all ache the heart
More than once I have felt I might bleed out
But I promise you number 3 brought out the best in me
It has been brutal to face certain parts of me
There is something way more appealing to pretending it was you, and not me
But now I get to know so much more of me
And there is no longer a need for me to hide in the dark
And I wouldn’t trade that for the world.
So my recommendation:
Face yourself
Choose wisely
Play full out
Take your time
Go deep
Open gently
Be honest
Be bold
Be kind
And never apologize for who you are

❤ Emily Joy Rosen

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Emily Rosen is the co-owner and CEO of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating where she oversees business development strategies, student affairs, marketing and public relations, and keeps a pulse on the fields of eating psychology and nutrition to ensure the Institute’s position as a leader worldwide. Emily makes things happen. Her passion for health and transformation has provided her the opportunity to speak and present internationally and be at the forefront of a new generation of women leaders committed to making a heartfelt difference in the world. Her tireless work and faithful commitment have touched the lives of millions of fans and followers worldwide.