me-and-my-body

Me and my body
I am lying in bed the night before a photo shoot
I totally lost my cool tonight
I hadn’t had much time to prep so I ordered dresses online and almost all of them were too big
The old me would be thrilled to find clothing too big
But here is the thing:
I really thought I was way bigger then I am
It has been nearly 4 years since I have weighed myself
The voices of body hatred have gotten quieter and quieter the further I have gotten from the scale
So it is surprising to be hearing them now
I have avoided having a professional photo shoot for years
All the pictures I post here on Facebook are taken by myself, Marc or my sister
People I know, love and trust
Who I know I can unravel in front of
Who I know will not roll their eyes or yawn in boredom
Who will not sneer or make light
I have built up an armor of sorts
As the weight slipped away my personality became harder and harder
As if with all my body fat stripped from me, I needed another form of protection
Some days I think I am so okay
Nothing could get in my way
But tonight it felt so sad
Sad that “body hatred” is even a thing
I could literally feel the insanity of it all
The absurdity and the pain of hating that which you are
If you get this, I am writing to you
It isn’t true
Your body is beautiful
Not a Number
Not a Size
Not at all

❤ Emily Joy Rosen

p.s. This picture was taken 4 years ago when I used to weigh myself everyday, sometimes many many times a day. Smashing my scale was one of the best things I ever did. I highly suggest it if you have one…

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Emily Rosen is the co-owner and CEO of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating where she oversees business development strategies, student affairs, marketing and public relations, and keeps a pulse on the fields of eating psychology and nutrition to ensure the Institute’s position as a leader worldwide. Emily makes things happen. Her passion for health and transformation has provided her the opportunity to speak and present internationally and be at the forefront of a new generation of women leaders committed to making a heartfelt difference in the world. Her tireless work and faithful commitment have touched the lives of millions of fans and followers worldwide.