that-much-closer-to-the-starts

Most of my life
I have been a tragedy learner
Meaning most of my personal transformation
has been catalyzed by pain
Meaning I mostly only grow
in the face of blowups
breakdowns and breakups

And that unquestionably
has been good for me
Frankly I cannot imagine
how I would have ever survived
if I didn’t see pain
as an indication
that it’s time to slow down and reflect
that it’s time to do some work

But recently I started thinking
what if I didn’t wait
till I had generated suffering
to take a look at what’s next for me?
What if when I was feeling great
I did a self inventory
about how I could amplify
what is already happening
or at the very least
understand the factors
that are contributing to my sense
of well being
so I am more empowered
to choose happy
because I have a deeper understanding
of what influences me?

That seems inspiring to me
and I wonder how much brighter
my world will get
if I choose to grow
before the breakdown
if I choose to slow down and reflect
even when things are going great
to see what I can take
from the moments
I feel most alive and free

Recently I had someone
very dear to me
say he would like to see me
in less misery
I was stunned
I don’t see myself as miserable
hardly ever really
but I definitely feel challenged often
and he is who I go to
when I feel like my world is ending

And after teasing out
what he meant and I meant
we agreed
I could definitely be more happy
if I made sure to catch myself
before going into overwhelm
and if I take time to focus on myself
well before things become “too much” for me
From there
I definitely have a higher probability
of being the best version of me

And so while things
are overall good for me
I am committed
to pausing and reflecting more often
to see what is possible for me
well before everything is falling apart
and I find myself on my knees
wondering “why me?”

It’s a drama I have been addicted to
It’s my favorite part of every
personal development story
when on some bathroom floor
we plead
for salvation
so sincerely
it changes everything

But I have spent enough time
on the bathroom floor
it seems
and so
I am learning to learn
while standing tall
and filled with glee

So yes let’s learn
from tragedy
pain and suffering
but let’s also learn
from joy
exuberance
and the times we’re
most happy

Yes that
that sounds like
a delightful possibility
and one likely
to improve things
before improvement
is “needed”
A different way to be
for those of us
who use
the urgency
of emergencies
to fuel
our transformations

A better way
I imagine
for us to
use our energy
Because if we are
only ever starting
from the bathroom floor
we have to use
quite a bit of effort
just to get standing again

Whereas if we start
standing tall
we are just
that much closer
to the stars

❤ Emily Joy Rosen

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Emily Rosen is the co-owner and CEO of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating where she oversees business development strategies, student affairs, marketing and public relations, and keeps a pulse on the fields of eating psychology and nutrition to ensure the Institute’s position as a leader worldwide. Emily makes things happen. Her passion for health and transformation has provided her the opportunity to speak and present internationally and be at the forefront of a new generation of women leaders committed to making a heartfelt difference in the world. Her tireless work and faithful commitment have touched the lives of millions of fans and followers worldwide.