ready-to-leave-1

And the moon came
looking for me
peering through the darkness
reminding me
it only looks so bright
because
the sky filled
with the richest indigo blue
Reminding me
that light
always appears brighter
in contrast
to the blackness
that insists on creeping in
covering everything

And I know
the sun will come
and pastel baby blue
will cloak the world
and we shall lose sight
of the moon
in a light so bright
it makes
flowers bloom
and insists
life begin again
and again

So tell me
Friend
tell me
how you cope
tell me
how you bear
to see such beauty
come and go
tell me
why it is you fall in love
again and again
with something
so clearly temporary
with something
you must trust
so blindly
to return again

I told him
(please)
at the very least
please
promise me
you will
never
disappear
on me

And he,
he gave lip service
he spoke in poetry
and I fell for the sweetness
that dripped from his open mouth
I licked every last drop
of story
from
his rich lips
mistaking softness
for kindness
mistaking pressure
for passion

“Tell me”
he said
his voice like velvet
so luxurious
“How do you know
when love is true”

And I giggled
as I do
when I know
I am about to dodge
truth
And I pouted
as I do
when I know
I am about to avoid
intimacy
Always acting out
incapable of being
with what I know to be
most sincere

“I don’t know”
I whispered
“I don’t know”

His questions
always tortured me
because you see
I was mostly concerned
with him wanting me
with him choosing me

And I was willing
to say most anything
to get that hit
to have that feeling
I had reliably
when he looked at me tenderly
when I could tell
he was pleased with me

He smiled
at my whispered
“I don’t know”
as a man
who walled up
and closed down
long ago does
So beautifully
so empty
like the stock photo
of the man
in the picture frame
I bought yesterday
Selling fantasy
and promises
of how it could be
by flashing his teeth
instead of committing
to anything

“Tell me”
he said
“Then why this
obsession with love true
It seems to me
you wouldn’t even know it
if it came to you”

And the sadness
turned to rage
And the rage
turned to terror
And the terror
turned to strength
a quiet certainty
right in the center of me
that began to spread
through me
filling me
with a knowing
most true

I know it
as I know
the moon
I said
I know it
as I know the sun
will come again
I know it as I know darkness
a forever friend
that comes
always
just before sleep
to caress my shattered heart

And I know it
because I am now ready
to leave you

❤ Emily Joy Rosen

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Emily Rosen is the co-owner and CEO of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating where she oversees business development strategies, student affairs, marketing and public relations, and keeps a pulse on the fields of eating psychology and nutrition to ensure the Institute’s position as a leader worldwide. Emily makes things happen. Her passion for health and transformation has provided her the opportunity to speak and present internationally and be at the forefront of a new generation of women leaders committed to making a heartfelt difference in the world. Her tireless work and faithful commitment have touched the lives of millions of fans and followers worldwide.