as far as i can tell (and have experienced), confidence doesn’t come from knowing you will be right (or the best) all the time, rather it comes from not letting the fear of being wrong (or rejected) get in the way of you doing what you wish to do (or being how you wish to be). it seems to me that confidence isn’t about strolling into a room and thinking you are better than others, but rather about not needing to compare yourself at all. many a time (more than i care to admit) i have been guilty of comparing myself to other women (guilty of feeling so inferior in the face of another woman’s radiance, intelligence, beauty, accomplishments). i used to think that confidence came from being the best and i was (painfully) insecure because i was not the best at anything and i was so aware of (what i thought were) all my shortcomings. being confident felt impossible given what i knew about myself and how often i felt like i was just barely keeping it together. but here is what i can promise you: comparison always (always) leads to pain. it isn’t helpful for you and it creates separation from others. and the truth is, confidence for me has come, above all, from congruency. now i know that’s maybe not the sexiest of ideas, but the clearer i have gotten about my values and what is important to me, and the more consistently my actions reflect that, the more confident i have become. it is truly an inner game (and one i highly suggest playing). the more intensely i focus on becoming the person i want to be, the more the impulse to compare myself to others slips away. i love the idea that confidence doesn’t come from being better than others. it comes from you, a knowing deep inside you (a knowing you can cultivate, a knowing you can create). heck, as far as I am concerned, if you have made it this far and you are still here learning, growing, feeling – you have a lot to be confident about and i, for one, know i am proud of (me and) you… ❤️ emily joy rosen

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