my mom wanted to see this peak. she insisted i come… i haven’t been feeling well and wanted to stay in bed but my mom’s zest for national parks and seeing every inch of them is infectious and so i rallied. i slept in my sister’s lap in the back seat as my dad drove, waking to my my mom’s gleeful exclamation, “we’re here!”

i have felt reluctant most of this year, a slow drawn out almost no, that has left me sure of only one thing: that i want 2019 to feel more like my mom felt here… “oh this is the most beautiful place in the world, take a picture of me here at this most beautiful place in the world please!”

i asked her later if that was really true for her, she has seen so much of the world and she said “oh, it was the most beautiful place in that moment to me…” and we all laughed, nodding our heads knowingly as we finished a most delicious plate of charred shishito peppers.

well 2019 i am here, and while it’s hard for me to get excited lately i so notice the tickles of it as i let go of 2018… 2018 stretched me in ways i didn’t know one could stretch and i did many a thing a never thought i would do. i feel proud and concerned. no regrets really but a few desired re-dos. some massive wins but of the more quiet kind.

2017 broke my heart. 2018 stretched it… and my wish for 2019 is heart honey. yes heart honey, honey… i see a confronting amount of work ahead of me, but i feel ready finally to face it head on. i believe this will be a most pivotal year for me, i will be cutting back significantly on socializing and retreating happily to my cave for creative time and scaffold building. it’s time to put my foot down, my stake in the ground, ya know those things people say 😉 yes those things… it’s time for me to make my very own heart honey.

❤️ emily joy rosen

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