it’s tempting
i admit (mostly to myself)
to choose the lesser life

i notice myself telling stories
about how i am satisfied (or okay)
when the truth is
i am terrified
that what i want
will not be possible (for me)

some days i wake
with life surging through
every last ounce of me
but it’s not uncommon
to find myself dragging (a little)
as i own that this,
this is no longer what i want,
not for me, not with any kind of regularity

transition is confronting (for me),
a girl who loves familiarity,
a woman who has had the same
morning ritual for years,
eats the same lunch daily
and has used the same products
since she was 15

i find great comfort
in things staying the same

i almost never crave variety
(just for the sake of it,
different tends to equal anxiety
for people like me)

but as it becomes clear
that a shift is near,
i am reminded (again)
to choose the life
that has me lit from the inside,
that has me breathing fire effortlessly,
that has me salivating (almost embarrassingly)

this is how i know i chose well,
this is how i know i chose well for me
it isn’t about getting more energy
from chemical aids
or setting goals
so we know
where we’re going always

it’s about choosing the life
that has us energized
and inspired (sincerely)

it’s about choosing
the life that is yours
(yes yours)

i hope you hear me
(i hope i hear me)

may you choose you
and may you live the life
that is yours too…

❤️ emily joy rosen

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