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and then sometimes we fall in love with our kryptonite. and the world gets excruciatingly brighter as illusions melt before our eyes causing us to question most everything in the way we refused to before… | Secret Keepers by Emily Joy Rosen

and then
sometimes
we fall
in love
with our
kryptonite

and the world gets
excruciatingly brighter
as illusions
melt
before our eyes
causing us
to question
most everything
in the way we
refused to before

humbly

and let me be clear
this isn’t a poem about gratitude
this will not be a story
of how I am grateful
for these learnings
because while I am
thankful, truly
i just need to say
i just want to acknowledge
this has been
so incredibly hard

and if you are anything like me
indulging in fantasy
playing with fire
holding on
just a little too long
i imagine you may feel
silly or guilty
for not handling things differently
for not knowing
when too much
is just that
too much
(at least for me)

i never knew
i could be
so in love
and in so much
suffering
simultaneously

i always thought
the two were
mutually exclusive
until I met
you

until i met
the man
that would
bring me to
my knees

a place
i had been
avoiding
actively

but here
is what
i must tell you
here is
what I got
from being down
on my knees

when there is
nowhere
further
to fall
it’s not
so scary
to try
to fly

(after all
the worst thing
that can happen
is you can end up
where you already are)

and i want you to know
what it is like down here
just in case
you never have to fall
nearly so far
because the view is
so very unusual
from here

everything looks bigger
but feels less important

and i am most aware
of surviving
So little room to consider
anything other than
chasing my breath

life feels simpler
life gets simpler
when trying
to survive

it has me appreciating more
it has me at ground zero
remembering
that at the very least
we are so very lucky
to just be here
alive now

yes blessed

but then the question becomes
is alive enough

living (almost)

because
that is what can happen
if we do not insist
on picking ourselves up
if we do not insist
on a life better lived

we can almost live

that is what making love
to kryptonite
can do

it can drain
the very last drop
of life from you

if you don’t choose
something different
for you
if i don’t choose
something different
for me

tell me
she said
leaning down
to wipe
the tears
from my
shame-stained
cheeks

what are you
going to do

tell me
are you going
to (finally)
choose you

❤️ emily joy rosen

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