i recently found out
that someone i have grown very fond of
(and care for very much)
will no longer be in my life
in the capacity they are now

this person is making some life decisions
that will result in us
no longer being in connection
the news put me in shock (so much so,
i didn’t know i was in shock till later that night,
when i began to thaw out)

and boy did i cry
the tears have been pressing out
of me a lot lately
i have been on the verge of sobbing mostly

i think a part of me knew
something was coming to an end
and i hate endings

i have always hated them
(i think i am truly the worst person
i know at letting go)
but here is what has shifted in me
(and something i think you may find useful as well)

i have adopted a belief
that i always return to,
something that i have mentioned many times
before (but was reminded of again recently)

it’s a simple statement
i ask myself over and over (till i am out
of the panic):
“how is this happening for me?”
my usual place to go
(where i went for 30 years of my life)
was “why is this happening to me”
the question makes all the difference
in the world (our persistence
makes all the difference in the world)

don’t be content with not knowing
don’t allow yourself to go into “woe is me”
be fiercely curious
and smartly surrendered

remember, nothing is about you
(and it is all about you)
so while i do not know how to easily let go,
i do know how to re-frame (most anything)
i have trained myself
to sincerely see the gift in everything

i am a student of suffering
i am a servant to understanding

because the more i learn
to see the beauty
in the breaking
the less fear i feel
and the more anxiety leaves me,
because i know i can handle most anything

that doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting
that doesn’t mean this news didn’t hurt
but it also doesn’t mean something is wrong
with me (or that the universe is punishing me)

there is nothing
i find more dis-empowering
than victim mentality

and it is one of the things
we truly have the ability to shift instantly

it isn’t necessarily easy
because so many of us have been taught differently
and it takes practice and care
to begin to see the possibility
in everything

but i can assure you,
it can change everything

sometimes all we need is a slight swivel…
and we are home

❤️ emily joy rosen

get emily's poetry collection (for free)

a beautiful, downloadable, keepsake e-book featuring a selection of emily's best-loved poems

your poetry book is on its way!