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sometimes we need to do our work and sometimes they’re abusive and we need to leave. sometimes we need to practice more conscious communication and sometimes we get confused… | Secret Keepers by Emily Joy Rosen

sometimes we need to do our work
and sometimes they’re abusive
and we need to leave

sometimes we need to practice
more conscious communication
and sometimes we get confused
and feel crazy messy
because they’re gaslighting
denying our perspective
rewriting history
till we can’t tell what’s real
and true for us anymore

sometimes we need to be aware
of our attachment style, learn our partner’s
and do what we can to support
integration, space and safety
and sometimes we need to
avoid more heart harm
from people who have no interest
in working with us
from those who give us more reasons
to avoid intimacy

sometimes we need to look
at the ways we escape
and choose to stop slipping away
when things get uncomfortable,
hard or painful
and sometimes
we need to see
our need to escape
as a good indication
this isn’t good (for us)
this isn’t healthy
and we keep checking out
for excellent reason…

sometimes we need to get clearer
about our boundaries
and learn to express them better
without blaming, shaming or threatening
and sometimes
their shaming is so subtle
their blaming is so pervasive
the threats so constant
we didn’t notice their agendas
built into the foundation
woven into the very fabric
of our relating
till too late
till we don’t have a chance
of having anything we want respected
our lines so far crossed so long ago
we seem crazed for backpedaling
on something we didn’t know we agreed too
leaving us with few options
making it clear, its best to leave
yes leave now and quickly
departing with what is left
of you before you lose that too…

sometimes we need feedback
accountability and critique
and our dearest is the best person
to see and reflect our places for growth
and sometimes
the constant jabs and put downs
are their way of keeping you down
at their mercy
as they feed on your self esteem

sometimes yes
we have to learn to love ourselves more
and sometimes it’s really
hard to keep the love alive (inside)
when surrounded by their hate
when it seems the person
you love most
is filled with disdain
for you

and sometimes
it’s mostly your fault
and sometimes it’s hardly at all

and sometimes it’s not about fault
intimate relationship just often
brings up all that’s unresolved

and sometimes someone
is wanting bad for you
yes some people
are cruel
and crazy
wounded
or wired differently

and sometimes
you fall
in love
and sometimes
you fall
down

and sometimes
actually always
you can heal
yes always
it may take years
it may mean you don’t ever return
to who you used to be
but you can
heal
into someone new
someone who knows
what to look for now
sometime who would never
cause the damage they lived
someone merciful
humble and dignified

someone who knows their truth
and isn’t confused
someone who loves
themselves enough
to be discerning
with whom they give
their heart to

yes someone
kind and willing
clear and sincere
measured maybe
cautious conceivably
but maybe mostly
happy and free
yes maybe mostly
someone
free and happy
at peace
finally

yes
someone
finally
at peace

❤️ emily joy rosen

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