you know when you know
you are making a poor choice
based on what you know
to be good
but you also know
for some reason
you need to do the thing
you shouldn’t do
well yeah, me,
that is a lot
of what i have been doing
and still am
and i am not so sure
i should be
i just know
i want to

and i have spent
so much of my life
doing things
i didn’t want to do
so i am really wanting
to do more things
i want to do

and maybe this is just childish
and a sign of immaturity
but i am developmentally delayed
in some key
and undeniable ways
and the way
that i know
to get de-delayed
is to do the things

so yeah
that is what i am doing
i am doing “bad” things
in a good way
and finding myself
wiser for it

yep, that about sums it up
messy me, messy emily
is learning on the job recently
and it is changing me
in the best sort of ways
as far as i can see

yep and yippee
yippee to me


❤️ emily joy rosen

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