have you ever watched someone fall out of love with you?
watch the sparkle fade
and the annoyance set in
there is nothing anyone can ever tell or teach you to prepare you for that moment
the moment your spirit tender and bright
touches nothing but cold

i remember when we met
i was in my nonverbal phase
sideways glances and offerings of food were my chosen language
he had so much more confidence than me
bravado even
i could feel his strength every time he came near to me
it was a sweetness i had not tasted before
i had always been a champion for the underdog
seeing myself as broken and unresolved
but he pierced through my avoidance
cloaked me in his knowing
and i fell hard

i have a new policy of not working on airplanes when i travel
i let my mind wander now
and i often find myself back in these moments
the ones were something cracked or something got in
where feeling became so intense
my body lost all boundaries
and weightless
emotion filled
i saw
i saw a possibility
hope
and a light so bright
i gave it to him to take away

so many years later what i’ve learned is that it was all mine
always me
that light
that hope
and all the possibilities
were me
are me
and always will be

❤️ emily joy rosen

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