here is the funny thing about flying high
you have further to fall
and the fall that might have felt
like going over a bump on a dirt road
instead feels like someone crushed your soul
there are some things that get in deeper than others
for me it is misunderstandings
dramatically different interpretations of truth
i admit i can find it confusing, hurtful
and just plain frustrating at times
i often find myself grasping for details
making bullet lists
and trying to provide clarity through specifics
which i am finding
is rarely what the other person is seeking
there is a maya angelou quote that says
“people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

and i am getting how truly true this is
how someone feels around you
will always have more significance to them
then what was actually said and done
this is really important, this is key
and is something i look at continually
especially in my closest relationships

i think many of us sacrifice feeling good
for what we may believe we need

for example, there are friendships
i felt horrible in
that i didn’t let go of
because i was afraid of what the friend would do
i was afraid of what they might say about me
or how they might try and hurt me
if i walked away

there are boyfriends i hated myself around
that i didn’t leave
because i was afraid
no one else would love me
as they said they did

there are work situations that i felt ill about
that i turned a blind eye to
because i felt that the execution of a task
was more important than my feelings

i didn’t listen to my gut
i under-prioritized my heart
i completely ignored my soul
and i let bullet lists run the show

now, anyone who knows me
knows i still value a good list
and thinking things through

but here is what i am coming to
here is what i am finally breathing through

nothing is more important
then how i feel
then how you feel

now let me be clear
i am not saying that i need to feel good
all the time
i caution highly against that being your sole measure
of what you should and should not do

because your soul’s work
might be quite wrenching
and your heart’s work
will likely include some heartbreak

it is not about avoiding pain
but about valuing your feelings
enough to listen
and trust
when something isn’t good for you
when something doesn’t feel right
sometimes you don’t need to make a list
you don’t need to talk it through
you simply need to walk away

because your body tells you to
because your feelings are screaming at you
get out
say no


let’s work this out
i know i love you
we have so much more to explore
this discomfort is worth it
yes, the damage is real, but i know you
are going to stick it out with me
and work this through

so my message to you (and me)
is please

and let your feelings speak to you

there is a language we tend to undervalue
it is an unspoken one
it’s harder to hear
so you may have to learn to listen differently

because some answers
come in
and tears

❤️ emily joy rosen

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