i can taste her
i said
locking eyes

it is a strange world i live in
where i often feel
the past, present, and future
inside me simultaneously

often when
i lock eyes
with someone
when i actually
let us meet
i can feel what will be
in just a few seconds
and it scares me

so like so many of us
who feel so deeply
i have done my best
to erase that part of me

because sensitivity
is not always celebrated culturally

because feeling so much
is just too intense
when we insist
on acting
like we are totally okay
when we insist on dancing
on the surface
of what is true

because feeling so much
is just too confusing
when words
and what i’m experiencing
often seem
so blatantly incongruent
it feels nearly impossible
to stick with our scripted
social platitudes

because slowly
i become frightened
i might be crazy
for feeling people
as i do

but recently
i have got to thinking
this actually might be
the lie
they fed me and you

and that is why
i am chronically confused

because i think
there might be a place
where we can better connect
and share deeply
and that place
is when i actually
let myself feel you
and have that be
where i choose
to trust you

the place
where i let
your heartbeat
penetrate mine
and we remember
we are the made
of pure possibility

this to me
is one of
the very best things
about being
what we call
human beings

and i wish
i had been taught
to honor it more
because now
i am relearning
what used to be
so very natural to me

and here
is what i am finding…

the more i let the door
to my heart stay open

the more i choose kindness
over rightness

the more i choose to see
the good in you and me

the more i believe
you are doing your very best always

the more the world lights up
for me

and so even
with all the intense suffering
i see and feel
around and in me
i feel more hopeful
than ever
when i let myself
trust the space
in between

i really do think
we can make
the world a better place
for every being
and as trite as it may sound
it starts with you and me
deciding to show up
it starts with you and me
deciding to prioritize

it starts with us caring
enough to care

it starts with us allowing
ourselves to feel

it starts with us choosing

my sensitivity
breathing into it
respecting it
has been
the most
i have done
this year

i wasn’t even aware
of how much
i was judging it in me
of how much
i was wishing myself different
of how much
i was pushing it away
the very thing
that would help me
have more of what i am wanting

so i am done with that

and i hope you can be too
if you find yourself
the beautiful
that is you

i am pretty sure
that would make
the sweetest

❤️emily joy rosen

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