there is something that happens
when you choose to let the light in

and forgive me
i know this may sound trite
but i have been really experimenting with this
as a practice
rather than a thing to say

so here is what i do at night
i place one hand on my lower belly
and the other on my heart
and i breathe into my hands
in and out, in and out
till i can feel my hands rising as my body fills

and i start counting the exhales
to keep my mind from drifting out
to keep my mind from obsessing
and making lists endlessly

within minutes i find the need to count is gone
and i am just feeling myself hold myself
and this is when i know to start
letting the light in
into my heart

with my eyes closed and the room pitch dark
i focus it above me into a single ray
that starts wide
and narrows as it hits me
radiating down through my body
as it becomes like liquid gold
slowly, steadily moving through me
making its way into even
the most forgotten places

i can feel where it rushes through effortlessly
and the places where it slows
as it hits scar tissue
and i let myself feel the pristine nothing
beneath story
as i let the light penetrate
who i used to be
and become pure possibility

i have been doing this for a short while now
and i must tell you it has felt really sweet
and it feels as though i hum a little more these days
someone actually said that to me last week
she said, “wow, what’s going on with you
this is the first time since i met you 3 years ago
that i have seen you humming like this”

and in that moment she gave words
to what i am experiencing

there is a lightness in my being
that was not there before
there is a casualness to my intensity
that feels like recalibrating
there are just so many more moments
of giggles and feeling tickled
with tears that come easily
and leave effortlessly

i think it is in large part because
i have made a practice
of letting in more light

anyone who knows me
knows i can go dark
i can be with extremes of emotions,
without hesitating
but i had been finding it hard
to stay with the light
ever since i turned twenty
there was something stopping me
and that is finally shifting

the other night i was walking through the airport
yet again
it was impeccably quiet
and everything was closed
the only thing i could hear
was the clicking of my cowboy boots against the tile
and i realized that i was actually filled with glee
my body, though tired
was filled with a tingling of happy
and my heart felt warm and open

this is my life, i thought
and i can fill it with as much light
as i please
because now i have it on tap nightly

perhaps you try this too
if any of this speaks to you

in my experience…
when we turn our words
and intentions
into practices
we create the reality
we say we want

so our intentions
are no longer just some words we find comfort in
that keep our hope alive on stormy days
but they are what we live
and what we actually have consistently in our life

i believe it’s our responsibility
not just to know what we want
and speak it
but to create it

i wanted more light in the world
i wanted more light around me
i wanted more light in me

so i am breathing it

make the world you want to live in true
no one is going to do it for you
it is on you and me
to do

❤️ emily joy rosen

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