yes, this
today, this
and rightfully so
it has been full on lately
in my outer (and inner) world

i used to judge myself harshly
for getting tired
as if sleepy
was a sign of weakness
as if admitting exhaustion
would show my frailty

i am known to live on adrenaline
i have an addiction to speed
an obsession with acceleration
a commitment to rapid execution

i love the rush of rushing
and have treated life
like an emergency
for most of my twenties
with little to no
apparent cost
till now…

because now
now i get tired
i get sleepy
i feel fatigued

and today,
today all the women in me
are tired

and it’s okay
and it’s all good

because sometimes
the only thing to do
is nothing

because sometimes
we need to rally
and sometimes
we need to fall

and sometimes
comes into place
all at once
and there is so much good
we cannot handle it all

and sometimes
falls apart
and we find ourselves
chasing stability
holding together
the seams
of what used to be
extending well beyond
what we thought we could
till natural limitations
and drowsiness
kick in

and i remember
as a little girl
how sleep was the enemy
a thing grownups insisted
on wasting time with

and i remember
as a teenager
wanting to sleep in always
loving long mornings in bed
and no sense of urgency

and i remember
in my twenties
not sleeping for days
hopped up on diet pills and caffeine
pushing hard against the rising of the sun
finding sleep hard to find
even when i knew
it had been days
with only a few hours
of half resting

and i now know
how unquestionably crucial
sleep is for me

how tired is a sign
that it is time
to slow down
get still
tune in
and rest

yes, that
it’s time to practice
the pause

it’s time
to take it
just a little bit easy
it’s time
to rejuvenate

❤️ emily joy rosen

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