“you’ve got diamonds
in your eyes

you fancy
don’t you?

well, you
you are not better
than the rest of us
i’ll have you know

you are no better
and i see all the ways
you are trying
so desperately
to impress those around

you are buying
at the cost
of your soul

and you think
i don’t see
the ways you
insist on decorating
to hide your suffering”

i say to myself

the ways we talk to ourselves
become our often debilitating reality
the ways we doubt ourselves
becomes the very fabric
of our being

and so i learn to watch
the ways i undercut myself
i learn to catch the ways
i berate myself
and mock myself

and i find myself
often wishing for more ease
judging myself for the ways
i make things more challenging

but then i remember
how diamonds are made
through intense pressure
and heat

and so
even while
she insists
on ridiculing me
i will keep busy
exactly who
she said
i could

❤️emily joy rosen

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