“you’ve got diamonds
in your eyes

you fancy
yourself
fancy
don’t you?

well, you
you are not better
than the rest of us
i’ll have you know

you are no better
and i see all the ways
you are trying
so desperately
to impress those around

you are buying
approval
at the cost
of your soul

and you think
i don’t see
through
the ways you
insist on decorating
to hide your suffering”

i say to myself
sometimes

the ways we talk to ourselves
become our often debilitating reality
the ways we doubt ourselves
becomes the very fabric
of our being

and so i learn to watch
the ways i undercut myself
i learn to catch the ways
i berate myself
and mock myself

and i find myself
often wishing for more ease
judging myself for the ways
i make things more challenging

but then i remember
how diamonds are made
through intense pressure
and heat

and so
even while
she insists
on ridiculing me
i will keep busy
becoming
exactly who
she said
i could
never
be

❤️emily joy rosen

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